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Thursday 15 May 2014

Identify your fear - Ask our Counsellor Q&A column

[The following column written by me was published in the Deccan Herald Education Times online edition on May 15, 2014]

Dear Madam
I am 25 years old and am currently unemployed. I completed my BCA in 2011 and since then I have desperately been searching for a job but I couldn’t find a suitable one for myself, I was diagnosed for aplastic anaemia while I was in the second year of graduation. Since then I have been under medication and have been admitted to hospital several times. I am medically unfit as my immunity is very low. Due to bad circumstances my career took a back seat. Somehow I finished my degree. As of now I want to pursue an MBA, but considering my health and financial situation I am unable to take a risk. I am really confused and depressed about my career.  I come from a very poor background and highly dependent on my relatives and friends. I have many dreams and ambitions to fulfill. I want to achieve many things in life.
XYZ    


Dear XYZ
It is unfortunate that you were faced with health conditions that interfered with your education. However, you must just view them as an obstacle that you have overcome. You should feel proud of the fact that in spite of everything you were able to clear your exams. Many circumstances are beyond our control and we just have to learn to do the best we can with them. There is no reason why you should give up on your dreams and ambitions. You must stay focused on them because that will give you the motivation to push yourself. You could look at options to study while earning – part time options, or distance education options. Or you can look at earning for a while, stabilizing your financial situation, and then going back to study. Also, sometimes a lot can be achieved by self-study as well and these days there are many, many options to do that meaningfully. A degree may open some doors, but to make the most of an opportunity you get is not dependent on the degree – it depends on your passion, knowledge, motivation, communication skills, creative thinking, problem solving, and other softer skills. So go ahead and follow your dream, but allow yourself the possibility of following your dream in non-traditional ways as well. Believe in yourself. There are many ways to get to the same destination. And we each need to choose our path given our circumstances.

Dear Madam,
My son is doing his 10th standard. He is a slow learner, suffering from specific learning disability and has been exempted from languages.  He is very interested in subjects like Mathematics and Science, but however much he tries, he is not able to score much. He has an aversion towards Social Science. He wanted to take up only PCMB in PUC and unwilling to take any other subject. He is adamant. His only aim is to become a pilot. Though I keep telling him about the difficulties in doing the course he is not getting convinced. I am very confused. I do not know how to pursue with his future studies. Is there any other option?
N Meera


Dear Meera
What is your reservation about his becoming a pilot. You do not mention anything about why you are against that choice. If he has a passion about what he wants to do and is very clear about it, it is important for us as parents to support their choices. So it is important for you to try and understand what your concerns are. It is important that children like the career path they choose and are passionate about it. That makes for them being much happier as working adults. Many children have no idea about what they want, and you should feel blessed if your child is clear about it. So rather than try and convince him otherwise, I think you should try and introspect and understand your own
reservations on this matter.
All the best