[The following column written by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education Supplemt of November 28, 2013]
Dear Madam,
I am a student of Engineering (EC) III
semester now. When I was in 2nd PUC I was good in studies. I secured 90%
in PUC. But when I entered Engineering my life totally changed. I am
not able to concentrate on my studies. When I sit down to study I start
thinking of something other than studies. I don't know what has happened
to me. I have lost all hope in my life that I’ll score good marks in my
upcoming exams. In my class I had a friend. We both were good friends
when we were in 2nd semester but now I don't know what has happened to
him. He is not speaking with me properly. Because of that I am so
distracted. I am trying to forget everything about 2nd semester, but am
not able to come out of that. Switching on to my career part, I even
thought of ending my life. I am totally frustrated with my life. Earlier
I wasn't like this. I was very happy in my life, I used to laugh and
enjoy life. But now I am totally different. I want to be as I was
before. Please help me. I don't want to see my life getting ruined like
this.
Neha
Dear Neha,
I understand that you are feeling
totally lost and distracted because of the loss of friendship that you
had with one boy in your class. Your academics is suffering, you are
giving up on life, and you even considered suicide. Neha, can anyone be
more important to you than yourself? Yes, only if you do not consider
yourself important. You must have seen this quote in many places, “Don’t
make someone else a priority in life, when you are only an option in
theirs.” No one will be a constant companion in your life for you other
than yourself. People will come into your life for some time and move
on. The only person who will be with you all your life, is YOU.
So,
honour yourself. And recognise your own worth. Try and understand why
that person was so important to you that you are willing to lose
yourself in his memory. What need was he fulfilling for you? Think about
how you can fulfill that need in some other way? If you are not able to
answer these questions for yourself, I suggest you seek the help of a
counsellor who will help you work things out in a way that will make you
feel stronger and more worthy and less dependent on other people.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I
am a regular reader of counselling column in DH Education. I wish the
same helps me too. I am a 2013 fresher in ECE branch with 56%
aggregate. I have done courses in AutoCAD and OrCAD. I am interested in
doing a job in the field I have studied. Due to my percentage I find
none. My parents want me to do a course in Java, which I don't want to
do, but have agreed since I really want to work and it is my last resort
to get a job.
In case I don't find a job through that too, I intend to do Masters. But
again, I am confused to choose between MBA and M Tech. Though I have no
idea about MBA, my instincts suggest me to go ahead with the same. If I
decide to do MBA, what are the admission criteria? Which branch is
easy? Which one has more scope? Which are the top colleges for it? What
job will I end up with if I do an MBA?
I am tired of hearing
sarcastic remarks from parents about being jobless. Seeing my cousins
fare well in life is making me miserable. I avoid people and my employed
friends since they pity me. I know I have made a mistake by taking
Engineering lightly and I don't want to make the same mistake in life,
again. Please guide me.
A Student
Dear Student,
I
understand your confusion on what you should do next and how you should
go about doing something that will eventually get you a job. I am,
however, not a career counsellor, and will not be able to give you any
inputs on that aspect. However, what concerned me, was the last
paragraph of your email. I am responding to you purely about that.
I
hear you say that because you have not been able to find a job, you are
feeling worthless; so much so that now you do not even like to meet any
of your family and friends because you don't have a job. You are
feeling embarrassed about it and shying away. You are also feeling
jealous or envious of your cousins who are all doing well. Maybe, that
is also putting some pressure on you. You regret not having focussed
enough on your studies till now, and are looking for ways to set right,
or restrict the damage done.
Here, I want to remind you about a few things:
* Success in life does not depend only on your marks in exams. In fact,
marks can’t do anything more than open a few doors for you. Success in
life depends mostly on other factors like self-confidence, communication
skills, ability to work with others, ability to lead a team,
creativity, problem-solving skills, ability to think out of the box,
etc. Marks do not even figure as a factor. Not having marks does not
mean that you cannot be successful.
* You need to arrive at your own
definition of success, not accept a definition that has been thrust upon
you by your parents, or friends, or other significant people. So take
some time to define your own idea of success.
* Your current goal
seems to be getting a job. Unfortunately, merely getting a job should
not be the goal. Getting a job can merely be a stepping stone towards an
ultimate larger goal. After all, you want a job that will be
fulfilling and that will help you go closer towards your definition of
success.
* To aid you in this process you must have a clear
understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses, so that you can gain
strength from your strengths, and you can accept yourself with all your
weaknesses. You could choose to overcome some of those weaknesses, and
you can choose to live with some of the others. To aid you in this
process, it may be helpful for you to take the help of a counsellor, or
some other trusted adult. Your goal should be to help you define and
accept yourself, and then go forward in the world with confidence and a
'can do' attitude.
Thursday 28 November 2013
Thursday 14 November 2013
Demystifying exam anxiety
[The following article by me appeared in the November 14. 2013 issue of Deccan Herald]
Everyone experiences some anxiety related to exams. A little bit can be helpful and make you mentally alert for the challenge. However, excessive fear makes it hard to concentrate and makes you struggle to recall things. Exam-related anxiety is a psychological condition in which people experience extreme anticipatory, situational or evaluation anxiety in testing situations. Like everything else, it has a physiological, behavioral, cognitive and emotional component.
Physiological symptoms
The severity of exam-related anxiety can vary from having mere "butterflies" in your stomach to difficulty in concentrating. Some might experience a racing heartbeat, shakiness, a feeling of fear or may simply blank out. Others may feel nauseous, short of breath, or have a full-blown panic attack. Other symptoms include headaches, stomach aches, diarrhea, excessive sweating, light-headedness and dry mouth.
The physiological symptoms can be many, and you may not always be willing to acknowledge that those symptoms have anything to do with your anxiety. 25-40% of all students experience some form of exam-related anxiety, which has a consistently negative relationship with performance. Exam-anxious students perform about 12 percent below their non-anxious peers.
Faulty cognitions
At the root of all anxiety is fear which threatens your security and stability. While fear is designed to warn you of real danger, it’s only sometimes that the danger is indeed real! Inferior performance arises not because of intellectual problems or poor preparation, but because anxiety of testing situations disrupts attention and memory functioning.
Unhelpful thought processes catastrophise potential outcomes, and result in a fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy, self-condemnation, negative self-talk, unrealistic expectations and perfectionist tendencies, seeing the marks as an ultimate goal, instead of merely a stepping stone to a larger goal.
If your conversation with yourself is as follows, you could have a faulty belief system which causes your anxiety. “If I don’t do well in the exams…
…I’ll be a failure.”
…my parents will be disappointed with me.”
…my friends won’t like me; my teachers will think I’m dumb.”
…I’ll let my teachers down.”
…I won’t be good enough. I can’t make a mistake. I always have to do well and be right.”
Parents are often a source of pressure, especially when they place more emphasis on marks than on the effort being made. This results in greater worry, irrelevant thoughts, and a strong fear of failure. Anxiety may also be because you think you may confirm a negative stereotype about your entire social group. Or you may be too concerned about the positive or negative labeling by others.
Exam-related anxiety results in several different emotions, ranging from depression, anger, and hopelessness, lack of confidence, inadequacy, demotivation, fear, and low self-esteem. The low self-esteem makes you equate your worth to the marks you get.
Behavioural manifestations
You get easily distracted; you experience difficulty with comprehending relatively simple instructions, and have trouble organizing or recalling relevant information. You tend to procrastinate and be disorganized about your time and work, and have inadequate study and test-taking skills.
Restructure your thoughts
Restructuring one’s thoughts is the most important component of tackling exam-related anxiety. It is critical to change your attitude and think positively.
Use strategies to personalise your success for yourself and visualise what success looks like for you. Use self-talks to concretise it. Write about it in a journal. Do whatever it takes to make it concrete in your mind.
* Engage in thought-stopping Every time you start going down the spiral of negative thoughts, hold yourself. Snap a rubber-band on your wrist, pinch yourself, or do something that will snap you out of it. As you anticipate the exam, think positively; for example, "I can do well in this exam. I have studied and know my stuff."
* Do not overplay the importance of your marks. They’re not a measure of your worth, nor a guarantor of your future success.
Avoid thinking of yourself in an ‘all or nothing’ way – either as a total success, or as a complete failure. Give yourself positive acknowledgement for what you’ve done, and for doing your best.
* Name your fear, concretise it, and then do not think about it. Instead keep on the task, step by step. Expect some anxiety. It gives you the energy to do your best. Just keep it manageable.
Remember that anxiety can become a ‘habit’. Most people think anxiety is something happening to them rather than something they are creating. Take responsibility for investing in anxiety-provoking thoughts and reactions, and allowing negative projections to control you. This is not easy but it is doable.
* Remember, failure is always an event, never a person. Your parents may be disappointed with your performance, but they will still love you.
Your friends like you for who you are, not for your marks. And, if they like you only for your marks, they are not friends worth having. Your teachers may think you’re dumb, but that doesn’t make it the reality.
Your marks are your business. If anything, you let yourself down, not anyone else. Making a mistake isn’t a crime. You can make a mistake sometimes. That gives you an opportunity to learn.
Behavioural strategies
* Focus on your study skills. Put in your best effort. Being well prepared helps minimise your rational anxiety. Do not fall into the trap of last minute cramming. Take a step-by-step approach and do not get overwhelmed.
Break-up each major task into smaller goals; acknowledge yourself on achieving each goal. Manage your time – don’t procrastinate; minimise distractions; organise your material so you have everything you need when you need it; make and stick to a schedule; include self-testing; use mind maps and aids to memory; review previous tests and learn from past mistakes.
* Do not neglect your basic biological, emotional, and social needs. Think of yourself as a total person – not just a test taker. Adopt a healthy lifestyle; eat nutritious food, get enough sleep, do enough exercise, get personal downtime, have social interaction, and practice relaxation regularly.
Follow a moderate study pace, and vary your work and take breaks. Once you feel you are adequately prepared, relax. Avoid speaking with peers who express negativity. Organise yourself the night before and get enough sleep otherwise you won’t be able to function optimally.
On exam day
* Eat a healthy meal; take a healthy snack.
* Get to the exam in good time, allowing time for things that need to be done.
* Don’t talk to others before the exam if that increases your anxiety.
* When papers are distributed, calm yourself by taking slow deep breaths.
* Read instructions carefully; budget your time.
* If the exam is more difficult than you anticipated, focus on doing your best. It might be enough to get you through with a reasonable grade. If you go blank, skip the question.
* Focus only on that exam, not on what others are doing or on thinking about past exams or future goals. Don't panic when students start handing in their papers – there’s no reward for finishing first.
* If you’re anxious during the exam, calm yourself. Use relaxation techniques -stretch your arms and legs and relax them a few times. Take slow deep breaths. Do some positive internal self-talk. Remember you’re in control.
When the exam is over, treat yourself. If you don't have other commitments, take the night off.
If you have other exams, postpone a larger break, but a brief break may be just the "pick up" you need.
Also, review what worked, and build on those strategies, no matter how small they may be. They’re building blocks to your success. List what didn’t work well, and don’t follow those methods again. Celebrate that you’re on the road to overcoming your exam-related anxiety.
Thursday 7 November 2013
Visualise Your Dreams - Ask Your Counsellor Q&A column
[The following column answered by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education Supplement of November 7, 2013]
Dear Madam,
I'm studying 2nd PUC (science-PCMC). I was a bright student when I was in my primary school and was able to achieve more than 90% in my exams. But as the days passed i.e. in my high school, my performance dropped and I got 82 percent in my CBSE exam. Friends was not a problem at all. All were toppers in my group except me. Later on this became even more worse and I got 61% in my first PUC and I truly feel my performance is decreasing even more this year. To be honest, I had good concentration in the beginning but as I cleared my high school and PUC my concentration and interest towards studies kept decreasing every year. I'm very worried about this. When I sit to study, I get the feeling of doing something in life but that momentum is only there for about half an hour. I get distracted very easily. I think "I will do it after sometime" and ultimately the day passes. That leads to studying the whole lesson a day before the exams which I don't want to happen. I really want to get out of this mess. I really want to prove myself. My parents have great hopes on me and they encourage me pretty well. Their words pump me up for the day but that is gone as the day passes. And by the way, I go to tutorials. I find organic chemistry and physics numericals tough; the other subjects are pretty manageable. I take more time than an average student to study. I don't have any problems with languages or with computer science.
I think time management, concentration, determination and hard work have been a major concern for me. I think if I mend my ways, I’ll be on my track but I don’t know how to. I have a very busy schedule on all the days and barely get time to study. I get a day off on Thursday from my tutorials and I'm free for half a day on Sunday. On the rest of the days, I approximately get 5 hours of leisure and the day is very tiring. I think I'm cheating myself and indirectly my parents. I say things but do not implement them. I have the right amount of confidence but don't know how to overcome my problems. Any suggestion on this would be helpful. I intend to do civil engineering in the future.
Thanks
G.N. SAI SWAROOP
Dear Sai Swaroop
I think you need to spend sometime identifying your passion and your dreams. You say you want to do civil engineering. That, by itself, cannot be your end goal. Studying civil engineering can only be a means to an end. What do you want to do in life, for which you view civil engineering as a stepping stone? What is that future that you dream of? Visualize it. Concretize it as much as possible. Then break it down into smaller achievable goals. Maybe you don’t see your current work as being a stepping stone towards that ultimate goal. You need to be able to understand for yourself how this fits into your own long-term goals. That will help you find your motivation.
There is no substitute for hard-work, diligence, and putting in your best effort. Sometimes we are unable to find the motivation for this because the goals and dreams we are pursuing are not our own, but those of our parents or friends or other people in our lives. You say you want to prove yourself. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone other than yourself. And, remember, the benefits of your hard work and diligence will also come to none other than yourself.
Also, identify the source of your distraction and inability to concentrate. Is it fear of failure, or anxiety about the outcome? Is it some distracting event or person? Is it your inability to comprehend and understand the subject? Is it peer pressure?
Maybe you should start a system of rewarding yourself every time you are able to pull back from being distracted and stay focussed and on track. Such things often help in behavior change over time.
The good thing is that you are aware that your current behavior is not helpful and you want to change it. Getting to that point is often the biggest hurdle. Once you are there I am sure you will find your own ways of overcoming it.
All the best
Dear Ma’am
I am a student of class IX CBSE in Kendriya Vidyalaya. Around 6 months ago I shifted from Tamil Nadu to Karnataka. Here I am not satisfied with anything. The only thing I feel is disappointment. I used to score above 95%, now I hardly score over 85%. My interest over studies is mostly disappeared. I am always distracted. Apart from studies I used to play over 2 hrs daily but here I lack such facilities (playground). I simply waste my thinking of my peer group, my school, my best times and sometimes I feel so disappointed that I even cry for hours together. I just feel I won’t survive this competition. Please direct me to a better future.
A Student
Dear Student
I understand that you are really struggling to adapt to the changes in a new environment. You are missing your old school and old friends. You are missing the fact that academically you used to do really well there. You are missing the fact that you had an opportunity to play there and you don’t have that here. Change is hard for everyone, but some change in life is inevitable. If you learn to embrace change you would have learnt an invaluable life lesson, because the only thing constant in life is that things will change. You will you remember your ‘good times’ in Chennai, remember them with a fondness and nostalgia and tell yourself it is now time for you to move on to different things - different opportunities, different friends, different places. The reason you are finding it hard is because you are resisting change and viewing it as something bad. Instead embrace it and view it as an opening of new doors for you. You will be amazed at the difference your ‘thinking’ will make to your ‘feeling’ about the change. In life, when one door closes, another one always opens. Sometimes, you just need to look a little harder for it.
So embrace change and let the doors open for you.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I am a correspondence MBA student. I am also working in a firm. From my school days I have been a very silent person. I want to talk to everyone & mingle with them, but cannot. I do talk individually with each person, but do not talk when I am within a group of people or in a team at my office. I do not know whether it is an inferiority complex or low confidence. I also feel that people ignore to talk to me & do not recognize me at all. Please help me to overcome this problem.
Thanks,
Dear....
Firstly, I get a sense from your letter that in your mind being a ‘silent’ person is somehow not okay, or a sign of inferiority. That is absolutely not the case and if you are comfortable with your silence it is not a problem at all. It takes all kinds of people to make the world. Some are just more quiet than the others.
Having said that, if you are feeling that you are not comfortable with the fact that you are silent in a group, and you feel it is because of a sense of inferiority or insecurity on your part, then I suggest you have a few sessions of counselling. This will help you identify and overcome the fears that are holding you back. It will also help you build your self esteem. People tend to reflect back to you what you feel about yourself. If you feel inferior, you will feel that people are treating you in a way that shows you are in deed inferior. Counselling can help you address that very effectively. So take the first step to helping yourself along this journey. You owe it to yourself.
All the best
Dear Madam
I am a student of class 10. Previously I was interested in opting for Science after 10th but now I am much more interested in opting for Arts. My parents are not happy with my decision as all of my cousins had taken Science. They have told me that I need to tell them what I am going to do in my life as they don’t think if there is any future in arts. I don’t know much about streams which I can opt for after my PU as I had been researching about engineering. I want to go for film making and choreography. I like to study about human behavior too. I also dream of becoming a politician one day but I don’t want to tell that to my parents as they hate politics and feel that one needs to be corrupt to become one. I would first like to become a professional filmmaker and choreographer. I request you to tell me what I can take for these two so that I can give my parents a clear reply and the stream I should take for pursuing higher studies in political science in later life.
A student.
Dear Student
Unfortunately I am not a career counsellor and have no capability to guide you about what courses you should take. I think you would benefit from getting some career counselling to help you match your interests, abilities and strengths to career options. Since you have a wide range of options in front of you, you may do well to get some formal guidance about it.
I agree that you should take subjects that you are interested in, not just those that your parents tell you to take or those that your cousins took. However, it may serve you well to visualize your end career goal, and then choose your subjects merely as a stepping stone towards achieving that goal.
Your parents are right in being concerned about what you want to do. However, you should not take this ‘you’ vs. ‘them’ approach. Try and engage them in the process of helping you choose your career path, and therefore your subjects. Ultimately they want what is best for you, and the more clarity you have about your path the more comfortable they will feel with your choices.
All the best.
Dear Madam,
I'm studying 2nd PUC (science-PCMC). I was a bright student when I was in my primary school and was able to achieve more than 90% in my exams. But as the days passed i.e. in my high school, my performance dropped and I got 82 percent in my CBSE exam. Friends was not a problem at all. All were toppers in my group except me. Later on this became even more worse and I got 61% in my first PUC and I truly feel my performance is decreasing even more this year. To be honest, I had good concentration in the beginning but as I cleared my high school and PUC my concentration and interest towards studies kept decreasing every year. I'm very worried about this. When I sit to study, I get the feeling of doing something in life but that momentum is only there for about half an hour. I get distracted very easily. I think "I will do it after sometime" and ultimately the day passes. That leads to studying the whole lesson a day before the exams which I don't want to happen. I really want to get out of this mess. I really want to prove myself. My parents have great hopes on me and they encourage me pretty well. Their words pump me up for the day but that is gone as the day passes. And by the way, I go to tutorials. I find organic chemistry and physics numericals tough; the other subjects are pretty manageable. I take more time than an average student to study. I don't have any problems with languages or with computer science.
I think time management, concentration, determination and hard work have been a major concern for me. I think if I mend my ways, I’ll be on my track but I don’t know how to. I have a very busy schedule on all the days and barely get time to study. I get a day off on Thursday from my tutorials and I'm free for half a day on Sunday. On the rest of the days, I approximately get 5 hours of leisure and the day is very tiring. I think I'm cheating myself and indirectly my parents. I say things but do not implement them. I have the right amount of confidence but don't know how to overcome my problems. Any suggestion on this would be helpful. I intend to do civil engineering in the future.
Thanks
G.N. SAI SWAROOP
Dear Sai Swaroop
I think you need to spend sometime identifying your passion and your dreams. You say you want to do civil engineering. That, by itself, cannot be your end goal. Studying civil engineering can only be a means to an end. What do you want to do in life, for which you view civil engineering as a stepping stone? What is that future that you dream of? Visualize it. Concretize it as much as possible. Then break it down into smaller achievable goals. Maybe you don’t see your current work as being a stepping stone towards that ultimate goal. You need to be able to understand for yourself how this fits into your own long-term goals. That will help you find your motivation.
There is no substitute for hard-work, diligence, and putting in your best effort. Sometimes we are unable to find the motivation for this because the goals and dreams we are pursuing are not our own, but those of our parents or friends or other people in our lives. You say you want to prove yourself. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone other than yourself. And, remember, the benefits of your hard work and diligence will also come to none other than yourself.
Also, identify the source of your distraction and inability to concentrate. Is it fear of failure, or anxiety about the outcome? Is it some distracting event or person? Is it your inability to comprehend and understand the subject? Is it peer pressure?
Maybe you should start a system of rewarding yourself every time you are able to pull back from being distracted and stay focussed and on track. Such things often help in behavior change over time.
The good thing is that you are aware that your current behavior is not helpful and you want to change it. Getting to that point is often the biggest hurdle. Once you are there I am sure you will find your own ways of overcoming it.
All the best
Dear Ma’am
I am a student of class IX CBSE in Kendriya Vidyalaya. Around 6 months ago I shifted from Tamil Nadu to Karnataka. Here I am not satisfied with anything. The only thing I feel is disappointment. I used to score above 95%, now I hardly score over 85%. My interest over studies is mostly disappeared. I am always distracted. Apart from studies I used to play over 2 hrs daily but here I lack such facilities (playground). I simply waste my thinking of my peer group, my school, my best times and sometimes I feel so disappointed that I even cry for hours together. I just feel I won’t survive this competition. Please direct me to a better future.
A Student
Dear Student
I understand that you are really struggling to adapt to the changes in a new environment. You are missing your old school and old friends. You are missing the fact that academically you used to do really well there. You are missing the fact that you had an opportunity to play there and you don’t have that here. Change is hard for everyone, but some change in life is inevitable. If you learn to embrace change you would have learnt an invaluable life lesson, because the only thing constant in life is that things will change. You will you remember your ‘good times’ in Chennai, remember them with a fondness and nostalgia and tell yourself it is now time for you to move on to different things - different opportunities, different friends, different places. The reason you are finding it hard is because you are resisting change and viewing it as something bad. Instead embrace it and view it as an opening of new doors for you. You will be amazed at the difference your ‘thinking’ will make to your ‘feeling’ about the change. In life, when one door closes, another one always opens. Sometimes, you just need to look a little harder for it.
So embrace change and let the doors open for you.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I am a correspondence MBA student. I am also working in a firm. From my school days I have been a very silent person. I want to talk to everyone & mingle with them, but cannot. I do talk individually with each person, but do not talk when I am within a group of people or in a team at my office. I do not know whether it is an inferiority complex or low confidence. I also feel that people ignore to talk to me & do not recognize me at all. Please help me to overcome this problem.
Thanks,
Dear....
Firstly, I get a sense from your letter that in your mind being a ‘silent’ person is somehow not okay, or a sign of inferiority. That is absolutely not the case and if you are comfortable with your silence it is not a problem at all. It takes all kinds of people to make the world. Some are just more quiet than the others.
Having said that, if you are feeling that you are not comfortable with the fact that you are silent in a group, and you feel it is because of a sense of inferiority or insecurity on your part, then I suggest you have a few sessions of counselling. This will help you identify and overcome the fears that are holding you back. It will also help you build your self esteem. People tend to reflect back to you what you feel about yourself. If you feel inferior, you will feel that people are treating you in a way that shows you are in deed inferior. Counselling can help you address that very effectively. So take the first step to helping yourself along this journey. You owe it to yourself.
All the best
Dear Madam
I am a student of class 10. Previously I was interested in opting for Science after 10th but now I am much more interested in opting for Arts. My parents are not happy with my decision as all of my cousins had taken Science. They have told me that I need to tell them what I am going to do in my life as they don’t think if there is any future in arts. I don’t know much about streams which I can opt for after my PU as I had been researching about engineering. I want to go for film making and choreography. I like to study about human behavior too. I also dream of becoming a politician one day but I don’t want to tell that to my parents as they hate politics and feel that one needs to be corrupt to become one. I would first like to become a professional filmmaker and choreographer. I request you to tell me what I can take for these two so that I can give my parents a clear reply and the stream I should take for pursuing higher studies in political science in later life.
A student.
Dear Student
Unfortunately I am not a career counsellor and have no capability to guide you about what courses you should take. I think you would benefit from getting some career counselling to help you match your interests, abilities and strengths to career options. Since you have a wide range of options in front of you, you may do well to get some formal guidance about it.
I agree that you should take subjects that you are interested in, not just those that your parents tell you to take or those that your cousins took. However, it may serve you well to visualize your end career goal, and then choose your subjects merely as a stepping stone towards achieving that goal.
Your parents are right in being concerned about what you want to do. However, you should not take this ‘you’ vs. ‘them’ approach. Try and engage them in the process of helping you choose your career path, and therefore your subjects. Ultimately they want what is best for you, and the more clarity you have about your path the more comfortable they will feel with your choices.
All the best.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)