[The following column written by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education supplement of April 11, 2013]
Dear Madam,
I am in 3rd year
Electronics & Communications Engineering, VTU. I had scored 87% in
my 10th Boards, and 73% in 2nd PUC. My Engineering marks are as follows:
64.516%, 73.161%, 58.555%, 60 % and 5th semester 57%. I
know these marks are too low because my friends score much more than
me. I don't have a particular reason for scoring low marks. I don't know
why this is happening. It is not that I don't study. I study and score
above 20 in my internals in each subject but in my theory I always get
much less than my expectation.
It’s the other way round amongst
my friends. They score in theory papers. Every time the results come out
I am broken. My aggregate has now come up to 62%. I am very tense about
my future.
The competition is too high. If I want to get placed
in a good company I have to make my aggregate about 70%. I want to score
well in the rest of my semesters but I don't know how. I need some
guidance about how to tackle the exam and tips to increase my
concentration because I cannot concentrate for more than 15 minutes in
class. I would be grateful if you help me out.
Riya S
Dear Riya
It
appears to me that you are very tense about your marks, and the fear
that you will not get the marks is not allowing you to focus,
concentrate or score well. I want you to be able to understand your
fear. What is the worst possible thing that you fear will happen if you
do not get the necessary marks? Answer this question honestly, and try
to understand the scenario if your worst fear comes true.
Often
this exercise will show you that even if your worst fear comes true,
life will still be manageable and there will still be a path forward in
the future. That will reduce your fear. Also, remember, that marks
are not the only thing that will guarantee your success in the future.
Yes, they may open some doors for you, but if one door does not open,
some other will - you may just need to look for it a little harder.
Ultimately
in the workplace, your life skills will matter more than your college
marks. Your confidence, your communication ability, your creativity and
problem solving skills, your ability to work in a team or lead a team,
your ability to learn on the job and deal with changes - these are all
skills that will differentiate you from your peers.
So while
marks may open some doors, they are not the key to your success in life.
So don’t attach the kind of power to them that you are. They are not
there to control your future. They are just there as a tool in your
control to open some doors for the future that you carve out for
yourself.
Reduce your fear and anxiety - that may help you concentrate more.
Dear Ma’am
I
am a student of class 10. I have been a topper in my class since
childhood. I am a very honest and sincere student. I never copy even if
the answer paper is given to me! But these days I am growing jealous of
my peers who score more than me by such unfair means, and I feel nobody
has real talent, but they just keep getting marks without any actual
knowledge. When I sit to study, sometimes this thought comes to my mind
and I get irritated and lose my interest in studying. This has posed a
great challenge to me and I am not able to come out of it. I want to
stop this habit of "jealousy" and study with a cool mind.
Please help me.
Student
Dear Student
Remember,
that the others may get the marks by cheating, but they can never get
the learning and the knowledge. That can only come through diligent hard
work and focussed effort. In the end, in life and in the workplace, it
is the learning that is eventually going to matter more than the marks.
The marks may open some doors, but they cannot guarantee success.
Success
in life will depend on several other factors like your intelligence,
your creativity, your self-image, your confidence, your ability to work
in a team, your ability to lead a team, your ability to problem solve
and think out of the box, to mention just a few. Nothing of these skills
can be gained by cheating in an exam! So don’t worry about what the
others are doing. Stay focussed on what you need to do, because that is
the only way to ‘learn’.
All the best.
Dear Ma’am
I’m 18
years old. I am an average student. I have a backlog in Maths in the
12th Std from last year. This year I got tuition for Maths and now I’m
good at it. I was doing well in my school, I don’t know how I failed
last year. I am very interested in doing Engineering now. My parents
also want me to become an engineer. Am I eligible for engineering? Which
branch should I prefer in Engineering? Is there future scope for Civil
Engineering? Please suggest me some ideas. Or could BSc be an option? My
parents have lost hope in me, and I want their hope back. I don’t know
what to do. Please help me. I’m very stressed. Please give me some
advice.
Nida Fareen
Dear Nida
I am not in a position
to advise you either on how to go about your admission in Engineering
now, or on which branch of Engineering will be good for you. But I made
some observations from your letter.
Firstly, do not label
yourself as an ‘average’ student. Your level of performance may have
been ‘average’ till now, but that does not mean it will always be so, or
that you cannot change that with effort on your part. My fear is that
by labelling yourself as ‘average’ you sub-consciously keep fulfilling
that label and not put in your best effort. Just the way, extra effort
in maths helped you do better, the same way, extra effort in any field
will pay-off rich dividends.
Secondly, the fact that you failed
in one exam last year does not mean that you failed as a person. You may
have failed at an exam, but that does not mean that you are a failure,
and you must not view yourself as one. Everyone encounters failures in
life, and the earlier you face them, and learn to deal with them
successfully, the better off you are. So you must not view the fact that
you failed in one exam as having hit a dead-end, but simply as having
tripped along the way, and as now being ready to go again.
Thirdly,
do Engineering only if you want to. Not because that is what your
parents want you to do. And, that is the only way you can reestablish
their trust and hope in you. Ultimately your parents will be happy if
you are happy, doing well and being successful in something you enjoy.
Even if someone loses hope in you, never make the mistake of losing hope
in yourself, because there is always light at the end of the tunnel,
and each one of us is immensely more capable than we think we are
(though the capability may not be always obvious to us).
I hope
this helps. As for which branch of Engineering you should do, please ask
someone more knowledgeable about the subject. Talk to engineering
professors about the various options.
All the best.