Nobody is perfect - Ask our counsellor Q&A column

[The following column written by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education supplement on April 26, 2012]

Dear Madam, 
    
I am a BA final-year student. My aim is to become an English teacher. I come from a poor family. And I have never been able to score more than 80 per cent. Exams make me nervous and I lose confidence.

I am confused about my future as I don’t know whether to pursue a Master’s in Arts or a B.Ed degree. My questions are:

-How can I gain courage and confidence?
-What is good for me, MA or B.Ed?
-How can I leverage my  growth opportunities in teaching?

Sanjeev M A 

Dear Sanjeev,
Your questions about getting more opportunities to grow in teaching are probably better answered by those who are currently in the field of education, or career counsellors. As far as doing an M.A or a B.Ed, again I am not the best person to answer this, but my guess is that if you really want to grow as a teacher, you would eventually need to do both. And if you want to teach at the college level, you may even benefit by doing a Ph.D. What I am going to address in this column is the lack of confidence that you are faced with.

Confidence is a function of your ability to feel strong about yourself. You can do this by recognising your strengths and weaknesses; by gaining strength from your strengths and accepting your weaknesses so that you can overcome them or live with them, whichever you choose to do. We lack confidence when we believe that we should be a ‘perfect’ person that we are not, and that everyone else is. When we recognise our strengths and accept our weaknesses, we feel more capable and confident about facing the world. We need to realise that no one is perfect, not even the person we idolise. And, just like no one is perfect, neither are we. So we are not worse off than anyone else.

Only when we are able to accept ourselves, are we able to feel confident about facing the world. So
do some introspection and identify your strengths. If your mind is pre-occupied with the fact that you don’t get the marks, you will never be able to truly concentrate on what you are trying to do. All the best.

Exams causing worry? - Ask Our Counsellor Q&A Column

[The following column, written by me, appeared in the Education supplement of the Deccan Herald of April 5, 2012]

Dear Madam,

I am a Second PUC student studying in Belgaum. I have always dreamt of studying in a top, national-level engineering college in India, especially NIT-K. The entrance exam is in April but I am still left with loads of syllabus to cover due to a busy schedule of continuous exams in school. I am confused about whether to prepare only for the national-level entrance test or for the State Board exams and CET. I am aware that both sets of scores are equally important and play an important role in deciding my future in a top-ranked college. Please suggest ways in which I can multi-task and handle the pressure of both exams in the little time that is left. I lack confidence as I am nervous about the little time that is left. Help.

Akshay

Dear Akshay,

I can understand your confusion about what you should focus on, because you seem to be treating the two as different goals. What you are focusing on is not your ultimate goal. It is a stepping stone towards a larger goal — that of being a successful engineer. That larger goal can be attained by either of the routes that you are focussing on, so focus on the learning — not on cramming the syllabus of each exam. The learning will stay with you, and will help you in either situation, whichever exam you give.

Most importantly, believe in yourself and your abilities. These exams are not defining moments, but mere stepping stones. Success in these exams does not guarantee success in life, just like failure in these exams does not imply failure in life. Learn to put everything in perspective, even though it may seem like nothing else in life matters more that what you are doing at that moment.

Sometimes if we magnify the importance of a task in our mind, we end up being overwhelmed by it and feel incompetent to achieve it. Believe in yourself and your abilities more that anything else. Good luck!

Dear Madam,

I am studying in Class 8 and I cannot retain what I learn every day in school. I don’t have a strong concentration power which, in turn, leads to poor scores in exams. I confuse the simple things and get the answers wrong. I make the silliest of mistakes while studying Math and Science. I am unable to arrive at the answers without help from a teacher or classmate. When I do homework, I forget what the teacher has taught.
Please help me.

Jyothi Patil

Dear Jyothi,

I am glad you took the time to write, and that you are aware of your problems at your age. Are you too stressed about the outcome of your tests, or your homework? Or, are you too distracted by other things going on around you at home, or in school, to be able to focus? Sometimes when we are overly anxious about doing well in an exam, or doing well in some task, the anxiety controls our mind and does not let our mind function at full capacity. This hampers performance. The trick is to learn to handle that anxiety, and the only way you can begin doing that is by first understanding for yourself what you are anxious about, and then talking about it to someone you trust who will help you deal with it. Think about it. If your mind is engaged in an internal conversation within itself about that anxiety, how will you be able to get the mind to focus on something else. So try to stop that internal conversation by:

- First, listening to it, and
- Second, by controlling it, rather than letting it control you.