[The following column, written by me, appeared in the Deccan Herald Education supplement of Feb 23, 2012]
Dear Madam,
I am a second-year, B.Com student and I come from an agricultural family. I have studied in Kannada medium till Class 10. My ambition is to become a chartered accountant. But I also have familial responsibilities to handle before that. I have scored 76%, 81% and 72% respectively in three semesters, but 90% is my target. I am a hard worker and dedicated but still I cannot reach my target. Am I overconfident of my skills? I have the following questions:
*I studied in Kannada medium. Is that getting in the way?
*Why am I securing marks between the above percentages only? What steps can I take to reach my target?
*How can I avoid being overconfident?
*My father suggests I take up a job after completing B.Com and pursue an MBA through correspondence. Is that possible?
Swapna G
Dear Swapna
I feel that you may have clarity on this matter by meeting a career counsellor. However, here is what I feel about the questions you have raised. You say your ambition is to complete CA. Let me caution you — while you may like to complete your CA exam, your ambition should not be to complete the exam, but to become a successful chartered accountant. The exam is not a goal in itself and does not guarantee success. The exam is merely a necessary stepping stone to your becoming a professional in that area. I am sure if you put in your best effort, you will be able to achieve whatever it is you want. Remember that marks are only stepping stones, and not goals in themselves. They are also not guarantors of success in life, which depends on many other things, the least important of which are marks.
I am not sure how you have arrived at the conclusion that you are overconfident. Are you not putting in your best effort? If that is the case, then it is creditable that you have that self-realisation. The only way around that is to put in 100% of your effort. Focus on the effort, not the marks, because the only thing you can control is your effort, not the marks. Nothing is a problem, if you are aware of it and willing to work at overcoming it. English is the language of the business world in most of India, and a good working knowledge of English will definitely help you. But the problem can be easily overcome by focusing on it and taking English language classes.
I am not sure if M.Com really adds any value, unless you are going in for further higher education and academics. For a job in the corporate world an MBA would be more beneficial. However, I do feel that doing an MBA after working for a couple of years is more advantageous. So even if your family needs are pushing you towards a job now, you could always do an MBA a couple of years later when things have settled down.
All the best.
Dear Madam,
I am a Class 10 (ICSE) student with a Science, Math and Computer combination. I performed poorly in my first and second term exams. And I am afraid that if I continue to perform like this, I won’t be doing very well in the pre-boards and Boards. I constantly forget theories and keep mixing them up. I don’t know why I can’t focus on my studies. I am distracted by the computer, mobile, etc.
While studying, I keep confusing one theory for another, especially in subjects such as Physics and Chemistry. I am afraid to share these concerns with my teachers. My parents don’t understand the issues. I have tried following time tables but that has not helped either. I need some help in focusing. Please help.
Student
Dear Student,
You seem to be really tense about your exams, and it seems that your anxiety about the future is not letting you focus on what you need to do in the present. I have talked about this often in this column before and I want to point you to a couple of my articles which address this issue. Please read them if you get a chance. It’s not the end of the road at www.personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/its-not-end-of-road.html
and Why exams are nothing to worry about” at http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/putting-exams-in-perspective.html
It is very important for you to feel relaxed in order to be able to concentrate. Try some yoga and deep breathing to help you calm down. Let technology be a tool that helps you, not one that makes you a slave to it. The reason you get easily distracted is because you are tense, and the distractions become an easy “escape mechanism”. You say that you are shy to discuss these concerns with your teachers. We are generally shy when we think we are not good enough and therefore, feel the need to hide. Remember that you are not alone in having these anxieties and fears about exams, and your teachers probably have many students come up to them with the same fears. To have fear is normal. It does not make you any less worthy or capable.
Don’t let the fear overpower you. Talking about it makes it somehow seem manageable. So talk about it, not only to your teachers, but also to your parents. I am not sure I understand why you feel your parents are unapproachable. Sometimes, we build barriers in communication in our mind and they are not based on any reality. Try talking to your parents. They may surprise you by understanding.
All the best.
Thursday 23 February 2012
Thursday 9 February 2012
Take it easy, kids! - Ask our Counsellor Q&A column
[The following column, written by me, appeared in the Deccan Herald Education Supplement on February 9, 2012]
Dear Madam,
Please tell me how to study (I get tense while studying), improve my concentration and memory skills? I can’t spend more than 10 minutes studying as I get distracted with texting or reading books. I am a procrastinator. I face difficulty in spelling words. Is it too late to learn how to spell?
Student
Dear Student,
As I have said in this column many times before, you need to study for the sake of learning. You need to focus on putting in your best effort, and not on the result, because the effort is the only thing within your control. If you put in your best effort, then even if you don’t get the marks, at least the learning stays with you. The marks will depend on several other external factors on which you will not have any control. So focus on putting in your best effort and on the learning (which are the only things in this equation that you have direct control on).
You need to address your fear of the outcome that is making you tense. What are you worried about? When your mind is preoccupied with the tension, how can it concentrate on the learning. You need to voice your fears and worries (either to a trusted adult, or to a counsellor if you have access to one) so that you can either work through them, or throw them out. As for succumbing to distractions and putting things off, or taking things lightly — we only do that when we think we are doing something for somebody else and it is not really for our benefit. If we recognise that the effort in studying is purely for our benefit and our long-term gain then we don’t get distracted so easily, nor do we start doing other things — because we enjoy what we are doing, and we do it for ourselves (not to keep our parents happy).
I don’t think it is too late to learn anything, and I am sure if you focus on your spellings, you will be able to learn them. As a starter make sure that everything you write is correctly spelt. Don’t let the spell-check do the work on the computer — do it yourself. And avoid the SMS abbreviated forms, which I feel, tend to make people assume that those abbreviations are the actual acceptable way of spelling. Most of the questions I get in this column are in SMS abbreviate language when they come!
Dear Madam,
I am a First PUC student and I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the rest of my class as I spent three months in NCC camps. I am in the Science stream and I am interested in Psychology and Marine Biology but cannot choose between the two. I have been getting good marks in Zoology but scoring low in Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Botany. My exams are coming up and I am not able to concentrate, in class and at home. Help.
Vidyasri
Dear Vidyasri,
I am not in a position to help you in your subject choices. Maybe you should discuss that with a career counsellor. Your choice of subjects should ultimately depend on your career goals and aspirations. The subjects chosen should ideally be an aid to that choice.
It is creditable that you are keeping up with your extra-curricular activities, though it seems to be putting a lot of pressure on you. Don’t think of them as unnecessary activities which sap you of time. Instead think of yourself as being fortunate in being involved in them, because these give you life skills that no amount of classroom teaching will give. And ultimately success in the workplace and in life, depends not so much on your marks, but on your leadership and communication skills, your ability to be a team player, your ability to think creatively and think out of the box, your ability to solve a problem and a lot of other skills. Success today depends most on your self esteem. You will find a lot of material on this on my blog at http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.com/
Dear Madam,
I am a Second PUC student and I am finding it hard to focus on subjects due to ‘result anxiety’. Every time I start with a subject, I get excited thinking about the results but later lose interest in the subject. I was a bright student during school but the last two years have been disappointing, results wise. I haven’t done much. My parents have high hopes on me and are expecting me to crack IIT-JEE or AIEEE. I am under a lot of pressure and this is affecting my ability to concentrate.
Anxious Student
Dear Anxious Student,
I think you need to deal with your anxieties, because if you have so much anxiety you certainly will not be able to concentrate. I think you need to communicate your anxieties to your parents, and let them know how their pressure is not helping you. Please talk to an adult you can trust, or to a counsellor (if you have access to one) to get help on dealing with your anxiety. You need to be able to understand for yourself what your anxiety is due to. Anxiety is the result of a fear that we have of a potentially bad outcome. Understand what you are fearful of, and then gauge for yourself if those fears are rational or not.
Yes, your parents, may be having high hopes for you (as all parents do for their children) but your worth to them is, I am sure, not based only on your cracking the IIT-JEE or AIEEE exams. You can live up to their hopes of your success by doing well in any field that you choose. Like I have said many times before, success in life is not dependent only on your marks and exam results.
In fact later in life they have no significance. Success in life is dependent on, more than anything else, your self esteem. So focus on the learning, not the marks. Focus on finding your passion and excelling in it, not on clearing an exam for your parents’ sake. I am sure your parents want you to clear the IIT-JEE exam because that is the path they know to success and happiness. You can prove them wrong by finding another path to the same goal!
Dear Madam,
Please tell me how to study (I get tense while studying), improve my concentration and memory skills? I can’t spend more than 10 minutes studying as I get distracted with texting or reading books. I am a procrastinator. I face difficulty in spelling words. Is it too late to learn how to spell?
Student
Dear Student,
As I have said in this column many times before, you need to study for the sake of learning. You need to focus on putting in your best effort, and not on the result, because the effort is the only thing within your control. If you put in your best effort, then even if you don’t get the marks, at least the learning stays with you. The marks will depend on several other external factors on which you will not have any control. So focus on putting in your best effort and on the learning (which are the only things in this equation that you have direct control on).
You need to address your fear of the outcome that is making you tense. What are you worried about? When your mind is preoccupied with the tension, how can it concentrate on the learning. You need to voice your fears and worries (either to a trusted adult, or to a counsellor if you have access to one) so that you can either work through them, or throw them out. As for succumbing to distractions and putting things off, or taking things lightly — we only do that when we think we are doing something for somebody else and it is not really for our benefit. If we recognise that the effort in studying is purely for our benefit and our long-term gain then we don’t get distracted so easily, nor do we start doing other things — because we enjoy what we are doing, and we do it for ourselves (not to keep our parents happy).
I don’t think it is too late to learn anything, and I am sure if you focus on your spellings, you will be able to learn them. As a starter make sure that everything you write is correctly spelt. Don’t let the spell-check do the work on the computer — do it yourself. And avoid the SMS abbreviated forms, which I feel, tend to make people assume that those abbreviations are the actual acceptable way of spelling. Most of the questions I get in this column are in SMS abbreviate language when they come!
Dear Madam,
I am a First PUC student and I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the rest of my class as I spent three months in NCC camps. I am in the Science stream and I am interested in Psychology and Marine Biology but cannot choose between the two. I have been getting good marks in Zoology but scoring low in Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Botany. My exams are coming up and I am not able to concentrate, in class and at home. Help.
Vidyasri
Dear Vidyasri,
I am not in a position to help you in your subject choices. Maybe you should discuss that with a career counsellor. Your choice of subjects should ultimately depend on your career goals and aspirations. The subjects chosen should ideally be an aid to that choice.
It is creditable that you are keeping up with your extra-curricular activities, though it seems to be putting a lot of pressure on you. Don’t think of them as unnecessary activities which sap you of time. Instead think of yourself as being fortunate in being involved in them, because these give you life skills that no amount of classroom teaching will give. And ultimately success in the workplace and in life, depends not so much on your marks, but on your leadership and communication skills, your ability to be a team player, your ability to think creatively and think out of the box, your ability to solve a problem and a lot of other skills. Success today depends most on your self esteem. You will find a lot of material on this on my blog at http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.com/
Dear Madam,
I am a Second PUC student and I am finding it hard to focus on subjects due to ‘result anxiety’. Every time I start with a subject, I get excited thinking about the results but later lose interest in the subject. I was a bright student during school but the last two years have been disappointing, results wise. I haven’t done much. My parents have high hopes on me and are expecting me to crack IIT-JEE or AIEEE. I am under a lot of pressure and this is affecting my ability to concentrate.
Anxious Student
Dear Anxious Student,
I think you need to deal with your anxieties, because if you have so much anxiety you certainly will not be able to concentrate. I think you need to communicate your anxieties to your parents, and let them know how their pressure is not helping you. Please talk to an adult you can trust, or to a counsellor (if you have access to one) to get help on dealing with your anxiety. You need to be able to understand for yourself what your anxiety is due to. Anxiety is the result of a fear that we have of a potentially bad outcome. Understand what you are fearful of, and then gauge for yourself if those fears are rational or not.
Yes, your parents, may be having high hopes for you (as all parents do for their children) but your worth to them is, I am sure, not based only on your cracking the IIT-JEE or AIEEE exams. You can live up to their hopes of your success by doing well in any field that you choose. Like I have said many times before, success in life is not dependent only on your marks and exam results.
In fact later in life they have no significance. Success in life is dependent on, more than anything else, your self esteem. So focus on the learning, not the marks. Focus on finding your passion and excelling in it, not on clearing an exam for your parents’ sake. I am sure your parents want you to clear the IIT-JEE exam because that is the path they know to success and happiness. You can prove them wrong by finding another path to the same goal!
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